Three nights in Venice...

To treat ourselves before we ventured to Italy, we decided to try Le Sud (Paul Bocuse) once more. Things did not go as planned.

My salad

Chicken curry anyone?

I ordered the special, which was a delicious melon salad, chicken curry, a special cheese, and a strawberry cake. Everything went perfectly...until my cheese. 

Did I mention the most awkward things happen to me? Well, good. There were bugs in my cheese. At a world-renowned restaurant, I had bugs. Typical. Of course, the waitress didn't speak English. So there I was, sitting at Le Sud, making "Buzzzzzzz" noises and moving my hands around to tell the waitress there were bugs in my cheese. I died a little on the inside. 

This cheese looks mighty appetizing to me...and bugs. 

At least the restaurant was fantastic! 

Anyway, she removed the cheese, and brought my dessert instead. No apology, no nothing. Great. Now I'll never go back to Le Sud.  Whatevs.

Oh, did I mention our finals were on Friday? Oh. Our finals were on Friday. Two up, two down. I'd say they were easy peasy, but I haven't received my grades yet, so I'm not jinxing anything yet. 

After finals, we jetted to the train station to pick up our car. Ten minutes later and ZERO getting lost in Lyon, and we were on our way to Italy. Yes, we decided to drive again. Tim and I are professional European drivers these days. 

This was a simple, straight-forward, 7-hour drive. Does this ever happen? Nope. Our first stop was at a gas station to refuel in Italy, and I needed my first Italian meal. It was a focaccia sandwich for like 3 euros. Was I expecting anything awesome? Of course not. Was it awesome? YES. 

It was legitimately the most delicious sandwich I have ever consumed. As a non-sandwich-eater, this was literally heaven in my mouth. Italian gas stations: 1. My pretentiousness: 0. 

DELICIOSO! 

So with a full belly and a happy heart, we're on our way to Venice. About an hour outside of Milan, all hell breaks loose. A hail storm.

Now, I've never been in a real hail storm. Yes, I've looked outside my window and witnessed dancing balls of ice, but that's the extent of it. Nothing prepared me for this fire-and-brimstone thunderstorm.

WORST. STORM. EVER. 

There was hail the size of baseballs, beating down on our Mini Fiat 500. Know why it's called "500"? Because it weighs no more than 500 pounds. The wind was blowing us all over the road, and aside from the 18-wheelers, we were the ONLY people on the interstate. We laughed off the Italians who took cover under the interstates...bad move to begin with.

30 minutes, 1 video, 200 pictures, and 2 potential heart attacks later, we were out of the storm. Tim and I finally admitted, hey, we should NOT have driven through that. But we're divas (and Americans) and we prevailed.

We get to Milan and I'm expecting to see Paris Hilton strolling the streets. False. In Italy, the driving is even more different than France. In Italy, if there is a shiny object on the side of the road, everyone stops to see. Look below; see that traffic? There was a car, who had a flat tire, on the other side of the road. We sat in Milan traffic for THREE HOURS for this. Well, all part of the experience, right?

FINALLY! A Venice sign!

We make it to Venice at about midnight. When you drive to Venice, you must park your car at the Marco Polo airport, for about 15 euros a day. Then, you take this DINGY across the sea to actual Venice. Timothy claims this was a yacht, but I was basically covered in bugs and spiderwebs; total dingy. Agree to disagree.

Tim loves public transportation. 

 So I wake up in Venice. It's beautiful, of course. The streets are VERY narrow, and sometimes, you'll be strolling along only to come to a dead end- a canal. Yes, there are canals EVERYWHERE. Your map might say you can walk one direction, but you can't, because there's 10 feet of water in front of you.

For those New Orleanians: remember after Katrina, when every street was totally flooded? That's what Venice reminds me of. The canals almost look...out-of-place. I realize they are not, in fact, out of place...but whatevs.

Timothy, exhibiting how narrow the streets in Venice are.  

We strolled and we strolled through Venice. Museums, palaces, churches- we saw it all. It's not a big town, actually. You can cover the entire city in a day or two. It was VERY warm; almost 100 degrees F. But luckily, Venice has air conditioning. Hallelujah. 

Venetian canal

An island outside of Venice where they make silk. 

Sidenote: I apologize for all of the lonely pictures. I'm hesitant to pass my camera to just anyone to take a picture of both Timothy and myself. Why? Gypsies, of course. Tim assured me there were no gypsies in Venice, so I took this chance.

In Venice, the canals are filled with gondolas. Singing Italian men serenade men and women of all ages, after you wait about an hour in the gondola line. Worth it? Of course.

Upon arrival, I quickly googled "Things to do in Venice." Aside from gondola rides and church visits, tripadvisor.com told me to visit their markets. That's just what we did.

Every fruit, veggie, drink, fish, and unknown animal was found at this market. IN HUGE quantities and at great prices.

A fruit market

 At the fish market, we saw a few guys drag in this fish, and cut it in half. It. Was. Awesome.

Boo ya!

The Doge's Palace

 After the market, we strolled a bit more. We saw beautiful paintings atop beautiful churches. We saw just about everything San Marcos Square in Venice had to offer.

Just when I was feeling a bit tired, we stumbled upon this gem: THE SALVADOR DALI MUSEUM! For those who don't know my obsession with surrealist art, Dali is my favorite artist/sculpturer/mindfreak ever. His art and mind captivates me; I've spend YEARS researching this man and his art. And here I am, in Venice, stumbling upon his museum.

One of Dali's famous sculptures 

 Now, I've never seen the Persistence of Memory in person (bucket list: NEW YORK), but I've studied this picture way too often. When I saw a sculpture of his melting clocks in person, I almost fainted.

Exquisite. 

After the most exciting 2 hours of my life, we left the museum. I was fulfilled. Not only did I venture into the mind and art of my favorite genius of all time, but I did it in ITALY! What an awesome find. Bug-infested dingy forgotten, I was a very happy girl.

While walking home, some kids in costumes assaulted us with a pamphlet: The Story of Venice. It was a play at a nearby theater, done entirely in English. Of course we had to go. After a quick shower, we were on our way to dinner and the theater.

Pretty, pretty at night!

After dinner but before the theater, we saw a gelato place. Now, I've had all sorts of gelato in the states; but NEVER real, Italian gelato.

Gelato...

 It was...so delicious. Light, fluffy, flavorful. Italian gelato....they know what's up.

VERY happy with his gelato!

Arriving at the theater, we needed a glass (or two) of wine. The bartender was hilarious, from England, and very insistent on Timothy and I getting married. All sorts of advice came our way, which was interesting and enlightening.

Italian wine

The theater

 The show was hilarious and I recommend anyone in Venice to see it. It started with the finding of Venice (two merchants stole the body of some Saint and brought it there) to some recent Mistress' parties in the square. The actors were amazing, with awesome Italian puns that kept me laughing

Story time: On the dingy over, we met this couple. They were older, but kind of fun and silly. I liked them immediately, and enjoyed their company for the ride over. Anyway, we see them again at this show. Half way through, Timothy drops his wine glass and it shatters all over their feet. Awkward moments aside, they were understanding, and luckily, not hurt. Remember this couple for later.

The theater

  After the show, we explored Venice a bit more, only to find this AWESOME pizzeria for a late dinner.

Timsiez, my model

Our pizza place 

We started with an awesome caprese salad and a few glasses of wine. Totally. delicious. 

Our main course was a pizza. In Italy (and in France), they cut their pizza with a fork and knife. It was late, and Tim got tired of this REAL fast. 

Timothy, being an American and eating his pizza with his hands. 

Me, being Italian and judging Timothy, the American.

The pizza was awesome, and I was in early. We had a FULL day in Venice the next day, and who KNEW what Timothy would get me into...

The next morning, it's walking time. All. Around. Venice. It was a bitttt early (8am?), but that's how Timothy rolls.

Sidenote: Remember that couple we met? The one I obsessively chatted with on the boat to Venice and Timothy basically broke a wine glass over their heads? Well, after waking up on this particular morning, I strolled over to the window to check the weather. I open the curtain, slowly, and look out. Who do I see? The couple. Awkwardly walking past my window, that I'm creepily out of. They are obviously SHOCKED to see me, look at me like I'm insane, then quickly walk away. This is my life.

After this mishap, it's time to go. We walk past the Doge's Palace, and he decides we HAVE to wait in the 300-person line to go in.

Background: Back in the day, the Doge was like, the MAN of Venice. He was super rich, super awesome, and super not-in-charge of anyone. He had this amazing house for him and his...friends, and we just had to see it.

Timothy's "sassy" look. 

Oh, just waiting in line.

 While waiting in line, I asked a lady behind us if she'd ever seen the palace. She just happened to speak only Spanish. Now, it's been 2 years since I've had a fluent conversation in Spanish with an only-Spanish speaker. I just had to try. She was from Venezuela, an accent I am not totally comfortable with. After about 5 minutes, I finally got the hang of it, and even told a JOKE in Spanish. Hey, Professor Bena, remember that B you gave me in Spanish Conversation? BOO-YA!

Just hanging out at the Doge's Palace

The Palace was AMAZING. We bought these sweet speaker things that gave us a tour of the place in English. Totally worth it, and awesome. The palace was also HUGE. It took us about 3 hours to go through the entire thing, that had zero air conditioning.

Timothy, just pointing at sculptures.

 Everything was marble; the walls, the floors, and the seats. It. Was. Beautiful. The ceiling? Pure gold. Literally.

The Doge's walkway

 We saw many Doge's artwork and preferences. It was not furnished, because whenever a new Doge would come in, he would bring his own furniture. What a downside!

While hanging in one of the rooms, we overheard the name of one familiar painting: The Rape of Europa. In our Stolen Art class this summer, we spent about 4 days watching a movie about this particular painting, and other paintings, that were stolen by Napoleon during the wars. The film's name was The Rape of Europa. Anyway, it was cool to actually see this painting returned in its proper position.

The Rape of Europa

Also, kings were short. Here is King Henry's armor. He was like 5'4.

You weren't allowed to take pictures in here, so I had Timothy discreetly stand next to King Henry's armor and look like he's contemplating the world. 

 After we saw the Doge's Palace, we went to the prisons. They were so creepy. We went over the famous "Bridge of the Sighs". This bridge is where prisoners would cross right before they went to jail. The bridge has small openings, and this would be the LAST light of day these prisoners would see. It's called the "Bridge of the Sighs" because hundreds of thousands of prisoners would take their last sigh on this bridge before they sunk deep into the prison chambers for the rest of their lives. MORBID.

The view from the opening of the Bridge of the Sighs. 

Sighing...on the bridge of the sighs. 

After the Palace, we were again, assaulted by another pamphlet. This one was an Italian opera. Sensing an awesome blog post, we went in to check it out. Prices ranged from 300 euros to about 400 euros. Perfect, I thought, all a part of the experience. After asking for tickets, we're informed we will receive "last minute tickets" for the show in an hour...at the whopping price of 20 euros. We're in.

We went for a quick dinner at an adorable Italian restaurant nearby. We got "the special", of course. Now, the specials in Italy are different than those in France.

My second course, meatballs. 

In France, there is an appetizer, an entree, and a dessert. There is your special.

In Italy, there is a first course (a pasta), a second course (a meat), and then a dessert. That's the Italian special.

Also in Italy, everything has fleur de lis on it. Weird, as I've seen nothing in France with fleur de lis. 

Nom nom water

 My dessert? Chocolate mousse, of course. And, MAN, is it good!!!

After dinner, it's opera time. We arrive early (not early enough for wine, sadly), and are escorted by a BUTLER to our seats. He opens this door (see next picture) to our seats, which are amazing.

Oh, goodness

The theater...is breathtaking. It's huge, with bright golds and reds everywhere. The lights are old-fashioned and dim, but there are enough lights to give the theater a very dim ambiance. It smells vintage in the theater. That sounds strange, but that's the only way to describe it. Like an old book that you found in the public library. When you open that book for the first time in, perhaps years, that's what this theater smelled like.

The Doge's seats, now just regular seats

The opera was..interesting. Totally in Italian, we understood nothing. I was thinking it'd be a Julia Roberts/Pretty Woman thing and we'd understand the story by the powerful music. False. I thought the main characters were father and daughter until right before intermission, when they started kissing. On the lips. Awk.

Intermission, with my mind rocked.

The music was powerful, incidentally. The actors sang from their diaphragms so they did not need to be microphoned. I've never seen or heard anything like it. Italian is such a beautiful language..perhaps one that can only be appreciated through opera.

You know I love artsy pictures.

 The opera was titled L'Elisir D'Amore. I recommend this to anyone who visits Venice, as well. Or Italy, for that matter. See an Italian opera.

The opera sign

After the opera, we wanted to grab a quick dinner before our gondola ride. This "quick dinner" turned into, wait for it, another awkward experience.

We (Timothy) chose this place because apparently, it's famous. Great, I think, I love good food. We stroll in to waiters dressed in tuxedos, and the typical bright red Italian seats that we're getting so used to. We're seated, and immediately suggested the new Italian prosecco. Two, please.

The menus

 While deciding what to eat, the sommelier comes over to help us pair our wines. We don't need his help, of course, as we're professionals.

The restaurant's award-winning wine list

 During this conversation, our waiter returns with our water. Somehow, tripadvisor.com comes up. Apparently, they don't speak the best English, because when I jokingly mentioned how I love writing reviews on the website, they understood it as, "I'm a food critic".

Awkward experience #38439853 for me in Europe.

To begin the meal, they brought us a pre-appetizer. No one else got these, but since I'm a food critic, hel-lo 10-course meals. Before I took my first bite, 3-4 waiters and maybe a chef stood around the corner, leaning over and watching my every move. They held their breaths while I cut this divine treat with my fork, waiting for my reaction to their culinary masterpiece. Now, Timothy thinks this is great, but it might be the most awkward 10 seconds of my life.

I smile after my first bite, and the waiters/chef sigh with relief. WHEW! Dodged that bullet.

I spent the next three hours sighing, smiling, and talking about how delicious the food was. How awkward it will be for this restaurant when they realize I am not, in fact, a food critic.

My risotto...amazing.

Look! A Chablis! We SAW the rows of grapes for this wine! 

 After dinner, we were given a pre-dessert. No one else received this either, of course. Amazing.

Delicious. 

 My dessert was FANTASTIC. Timothy ate ONLY about 1/2 this time; he saved me some. :)

Crunchy, yet satisfying.

I'm glad we "did it big" our last dinner in Venice. It was an experience, not only a dinner. I was a food critic for a few hours...what a great evening.

We left early this morning, so last night, we knew what we had to do: go on a Gondola ride.

After finding a gondolier that sang in Italian, we finally got on a boat.

Our gondolier 

The gondola ride at night is a must-do in Venice. Venice has cool night air, with less people flooding the canals (pun. intended.) The air is totally still at night, with no noise. It is peaceful, yet eerie. Our gondolier sang softly in Italian the entire time, which would have totally been romantic if not for those 3-4 glasses of wine we had at dinner.

The Venetian court house

We went under the most romantic bridge in Europe, and were basically forced to take a kissing picture. I won't post that here; no worries.

Pre-Kissing Picture

 The gondola ride was definitely one of the coolest things I've ever done. The night was perfect, the vacation was perfect, and the company was perfect. Could I be any luckier?

I woke up early this morning to talks of walking throughout Venice, again. After a HUGE meal, Timothy decides it's time to go home. Neither supporting nor rejecting this suggestion, I just go with it.

The ride home is much less eventful that the ride there. It was sunny and clear the entire way home. We saw mountains, vineyards, and more barnyards friends than I knew existed. Northern Italy, I'm in love.